It’s a pretty safe bet you didn’t expect to be divorced, single and dating at this time in your life. Right?
And because a divorce judge didn’t hand you a dating rulebook as you left the courtroom, you might be feeling pretty frustrated and overwhelmed with the 50 plus dating scene.
You may even feel like the effort isn’t worth it anymore leading you to give up on your dreams of finding a man to love who loves you. It doesn’t have to be this way! Dating can be fun and you can get a good guy.
Here are three of the biggest dating mistakes women over 50 make; and here is what you can do instead to overcome them so you can have the man you want in your life.
Mistake No.1: Believing when the time is right, a good guy will just show up in your life!
Wouldn’t it be awesome if finding a good guy really happened this way?
Although it would be nice … it rarely if ever does. But you can meet a great man who is perfect for you!
You just need to work the dating system … putting yourself in situations so you can find him and he can find you.
It means making sure you’re on dating sites that are the right fit for you and while you’re at it, turn your friends into “Dating Fairy Godmothers” who can fix you up.
If you like the idea of finding men in real life versus online, you’ll want to be in social situations where men 50 years and older congregate and you’ll need to know how to get them to approach you when you’re interested in them.
Here’s a great tip….if you see a man across the room who looks interesting, make eye contact and smile at him. Turn back to what you were doing then look back again and smile. You’ve just signaled him that you’re interested.
Mistake No. 2: Believing you’ll just know he’s the right guy for you when he shows up!
Remember when you were a teenage girl with stars in your eyes when it came to boys? Hanging out with the guys was fun!
You didn’t feel the pressure you feel today to find “The One” on your first interaction together. You spent time enjoying each other’s company at school or at work and you laughed and played as you experienced the things you both loved in life.
You didn’t think twice about putting in the time getting to know each other before deciding … Yes, I’d like to spend the rest of my life with this man.
Today getting to know men is a different story.
You go on a coffee date and before the coffee is even finished, you’ve figured out whether or not he’s right for you.
You don’t play and you don’t just hang with guys as friends like you did when you were younger.
In fact, when you make such a fast decision, you often miss a lot of guys who could have made great friends to hang out with, or possibly boyfriends, if you’d given them the chance, like you did when you were younger.
Next time when you meet a nice guy, spend time playing and having fun, seeing how you might fit in each other’s lives.
Being around male energy—even if he’s just a friend—is a lot better than sitting at home alone every Saturday night.
Mistake No.3. Giving up too quickly!
After a few first dates don’t work out, some women want to quit dating.
When you go online and read men’s profiles, you create a picture of who a man is based on the words he’s written and the pictures he’s posted. Having expectations of a man before you meet is a setup for failure, especially when he turns out to be totally different than the way he portrayed himself in his profile.
You come home feeling depressed and hopeless about ever finding your guy. And this is about the time you start thinking, there are no good guys out there!
Here’s another tip for what you can do instead:
Go on future dates with the mind set of, I’m going to meet someone new and interesting today.
This will make dating far more fun for you. Plus, it will keep you from making snap judgments about who you think a man is before you’ve met.
Persistence is the name of the game when it comes to dating. When you’re tired or overwhelmed, do yourself a favor and take breaks when you need to.
And when you’re feeling recharged, get back out there and start dating again because your guy is waiting for you to find him.
By Lisa Copeland, “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!”