One of the hardest things you face as a single woman 50 or older, is the emptiness you feel inside when you’re missing a man in your life.
Everywhere you go, you see couples holding hands, kissing, and whispering in each other’s ear over the private life they share.
It intensifies the loneliness and makes you feel as if your life is incomplete. In my 50s, I can remember coming out of a long relationship feeling lost and very alone. Instead of being part of “TWO” … I was now a “ONE,” and I was having a hard time adjusting to my new status.
I shared this with a married friend of mine who gave me some great advice. She said, “Enjoy this time of getting to know you again. Once you’re back in a relationship, you’ll wish you’d had more of it.”
This was great advice, but I was at a loss for finding me again. All I wanted to do was be part of a couple once more. Then one day, I woke up and it’s as if while I was sleeping, I was given three steps on how to open my heart to myself, my life and ultimately love with a man again. Give these three steps a try and let me know how they fill the emptiness for you.
Step No. 1. Being alone, you can really feel it when love is missing from your daily life. But, how do you get that heart energy back when you’re single? Chances are you spent years bending like a pretzel doing what an ex or everyone else wanted to do. You put yourself last.
Now it’s time to dream again and do the things you’ve always wanted to try without having to run it past anyone but you. This can be both exciting and freeing at the same time. For me, I’d always wanted to take a painting class. I did, and today those paintings hang framed around my home. Seeing them every day makes me extremely happy. I just light up inside because I went after my dream of becoming an artist.
Now it’s your turn. Write a list of what you’ve always wanted to do. Take an action step by choosing one and start doing it this week. You’ll find that your passions can open your heart and make you glow.
Step No. 2. You can feel love in your heart without involving a man. Start by making a list of all the people, animals or places in your life you love. I am blessed to have two granddaughters in my life. When I was single and feeling alone, I’d tap into my feelings of how much I loved them. My heart just opened up, and that felt amazing.
You will want to ask yourself who do you love with all your heart? Maybe it’s your dog, cat, kids, grandkids, friends, parents? Whoever it is, just allow those feelings of love you’re feeling to flow through you. This is a very comforting step that helps you remember that love can be felt in all different ways, not just as part of a couple.
Step No. 3. Treat yourself and do something to nurture YOU every day. As women, we tend to give to everyone but ourselves. This can leave you feeling both drained and exhausted. When you’re exhausted, you feel empty, and it’s hard to give or get the love you want.
Planning a fun 5 minute or 2-hour activity gives you something to look forward to every day. It can be as simple as reading a book in the bathtub surrounded by luxurious bubbles while sipping on your favorite glass of wine, or taking a walk at your favorite park or buying yourself a bauble you’ve always wanted.
To help you, I’ve created a Nurturing Calendar that you can download and print by clicking here.
Getting a guy can be hard when you feel empty inside, and that’s why these three steps are so important to incorporate into your life.
I would love to hear about who and what fills your heart.
Lisa Copeland, “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!” Find out more at Findaqualityman.com.