Mistake No.1 … Conducting a date as if it’s a job interview.
If you’re like most divorced singles 50 or older, you’re probably carrying some fear baggage around the idea of failing in a relationship again.
You figure this time, you’re going to get it right so you come up with an exact list of who Mr. or Ms. Right must be.
And as you sip your coffee or glass of wine, you start mentally checking off the positives and negatives of the person who is applying to be your significant other.
As kids, we gave ourselves the luxury of just hanging out with a person.
We didn’t make snap decisions in the first 15 minutes of meeting someone as to whether they have the requirements for being our partner.
We lived in the moment and had fun getting to know a new person.
I can’t tell you the number of people who tell me they know in three minutes or less whether someone is right for them.
I ask them, “What do you base this on?” and the answer I always get is, “I can just tell.”
No, you really can’t tell this quickly.
It takes time to assess who someone really is.
If the person is nice, try going out with them a couple of times.
If after 3-5 dates, you aren’t feeling it, then let them go.
Sometimes, it takes up to 4 dates for things to click.
You have plenty of time to decide if they’re the right one.
Take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy hanging out again…just like you did in your youth.
Mistake No.2 … Talking about your ex on a first date.
This is a huge “no-no” for a first date.
No one wants to hear the problems you’re having with your ex when they first meet you.
You see, people in new relationships want to fix problems for you. And in the area of exes, they can’t.
So it makes them feel inadequate about themselves.
It’s also a downer.
Save ex-bashing for when you’re hanging out with your friends.
They have no desire to fix the situation for you but they’ll spend hours giving you compassion and advice.
Mistake No.3 … Losing your identity to a new relationship.
While looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, hopefully you’ve created a wonderful life for yourself, participating in various activities you love and enjoy.
This is an essential for creating the inner glow people find themselves so drawn to.
Yet, when a suitor comes along, do you find yourself giving up your activities hoping they’ll invite you to share in what they’re doing?
Do you stop going out with your friends thinking you’ll go out with your new date instead?
Do you put your life on hold waiting to see what he or she is going to do with theirs?
When you do this, the inner glow you’ve created starts to become dull and you start to seem clingy and needy as you depend on someone else to fill what’s missing in you.
What you’re doing is turning yourself into your new partner and you’re losing what made you so attractive to them in the first place…the life you created before you met them.
It’s great to share a life with your partner. Keep the balance and inner glow going by picking and choosing the activities and time with friends that mean the most to you.
This will keep your inner glow going and will always give you an interesting and vibrant vibe to not only potential dates but to yourself as well.